April 2018

Like the guy said thirty stories down after jumping out of a fiftieth story window...

So Far, So Good.

Sox Test, Reward Patience in Interminable Opener

Feeling may or may not return to our toes, but victory is forever.
It was noted for the benefit of the riders of the co-educational #2 bus that the Henry Berry Memorial Opening Day trip is pretty much of a caveat emptor affair. Bus gets a flat tire? Too bad. Sox lose? It happens. View of pitcher and batter obscured by two separate poles? What do you expect from a stadium built 108 years ago? Miss the bus back on account of waiting in line for the toilet? You're on your own.

There is, however, one ironclad guarantee, honored without fail for fifty one years: Attendees will freeze their asses off.

Participants in this year's expedition to Boston had no cause for complaint in this regard. With a game time temperature of 38 degrees, a cooling 15-20 mph breeze, and a thoroughly chilled grandstand to make the sun's existence a matter of theoretical speculation, heatstroke ranked low on a list of concerns among the assembled BLOHARDS.

It was thus with no small amount of ambivalence that the handful of still-sentient such BLOHARDS greeted a furious ninth inning rally by the Sox which sufficed only to send the game to extra innings, whence it stayed until it was good and ready to end.

Happily, Hanley Ramirez hit a shot variously described as "blooped" (in the NY Times) and "crushed" (by Redsox.com) with the bases loaded in the 12th. It was in any event hit sufficiently hard to send both Jackie Bradley and a very cold group of BLOHARDS scampering happily home.

September Outing Update
Readers will recall that owing to the timing of Yom Kippur, the BLOHARDS decided to eschew lunch during the Sox' mid-September jaunt to Gotham in hopes that we might instead make an expedition to the Tuesday, September 18th day game in the Bronx. This plan was necessarily contingent on the Yankees' willingness to sell us a copious quantity of economically-priced tickets.

Given the widespread excitement about the Yanks' prospects for 2018, preseason discussions with Yankee Group Sales did not afford much optimism on this account. Indeed, the word "dismissive" might accurately describe the attitude of that office. Recent days have, however, produced both a change in tone, and the offer of discounted tickets to the May confrontation between the two teams. With any luck, September will find the Yankees mathematically eliminated from contention, their ticket functionaries obsequious and swarms of BLOHARDS sitting in $35 "Legends" seats.

We'll keep you apprised.

Wallet Schedules
Hot off the presses, we've got BLOHARD wallet schedules in stock. If you're not going to lunch, or if you are but just can't wait, you can procure schedules in one of two ways:

1. Mail a stamped self-addressed envelope to Peter Collery c/o SC Fundamental LLC, 747 Third Avenue - 27th floor, New York, NY 10017. In the fullness of time, you will receive a single schedule by return mail.

2. Email your address to Peter and receive ten schedules in return at no cost. This latter option carries with it the obligation to always carry extra schedules on your person and to proffer them to strangers who appear to be either of (i) Sox fans; or (ii) credulous.

Follow us...
on Facebook or twitter, and in your local newspaper's police blotter.

Lunch Date Barrels Towards Us
Or Vice Versa

May 10 marks the date of the rapidly upcoming one-and-only BLOHARD lunch of the 2018 season. We'll be convening in the Yale Club's congenial Tap Room at high noon for (i) a schedule chock-a-block full of topnotch entertainment; and (ii) plates moderately full of medium-cooked chicken. Heading the agenda are Bill Nowlin and Skip Lockwood, who will discuss their recently published books on Tom Yawkey and Skip Lockwood respectively. Quinn will do trivia. Duffy will do slides. Flavin will do poetry. Cosgriff will do presiding. You will do the gaping in awe thing, but only if you have tickets.

Get 'em here. More details are contained in the official invitation.

It's Always Something…

For reasons best known to itself, Microsoft and/or Samsung created a folder called "Unwanted" on the email server at BLOHARD world headquarters and directed to it all notifications from Paypal of our members' dues payments. Query to Microsoft: When was the receipt of money ever unwanted?

Anyhoo, owing to this snafu, members who diligently paid their dues as far back as January are still awaiting reciprocation in the form of membership cards and handy BLOHARD wallet schedules. Their wait is near an end. The error having been discovered, our bureaucratic machinery is creaking to life, and can be expected to deliver appropriate evidence of membership in due course.

Apologies should not be expected inasmuch as, on the advice of counsel, they will not be forthcoming.

Speaking of Dues...
They're due. $20 for a year or $150 for a lifetime. You may remit by check to Julie Killian at 42 Forest Avenue in Rye, 10580, or pay on line. Your conscience is going to feel so much better when you do it.

The NY-Based Boston Baseball Fan Organization That Views Together... Drinks Booze Together?

When last we met for monthly viewing parties (and nightly ones during the postseason) back in 2013, the Sox boarded a train in November and brought the World Series Trophy to the BLOHARDS. That extraordinary evening, we misplaced a few club members who remain at large.

In hopes of another memorable November (not that we can afford further depletion of our membership), we again plan to gather for monthly Sox games in June, July, August, and September. Watch for announcements via the newsletter, Facebook, and Twitter. We are considering several venues, including Foley's on West 33rd Street, where the song "Danny Boy" is not permitted to be sung.

Sweet Seats!
For forty-odd years our buddy Suzanne Cadgene has had Red Sox season tickets seven rows up from the field between home and first. Stephen King is a neighbor. Now, she's looking for a partner to share her seats with. Pretty sure you're gonna want to drop her a line before somebody else beats you to it.

It's always something else...
If, hypothetically, there was text covering Vicente's baseball card over there in column three, you could try hitting the refresh button. It works great; just like kicking the refrigerator when it goes on the fritz.

Heard on the Bus
BLOHARD VP - Regulatory and Public Affairs Joe Cosgriff jotted down a few snippets of overheard conversation on the BLOHARD #2 bus. Herewith some of the best:

"So, then the doctor told me that I have an overactive bladder..."
"College is going to be 100 grand a year, with all the expenses factored in, but what choice do I have? The town won't let them go to high school anymore."
"I thought Tessie was Wally's girlfriend."
"That was no flyover. They get Flavin to clear his throat and turn the mic up."
"Colonoscopy prep is nothing if you grew up eating my mother's cooking."
"Ever notice it's only the cars with Jersey plates that try to f*** with a bus."
"I may be wrong, but I don't think this bus makes it under that bridge."
"Extra Spicy Doritos go surprisingly well with a Caymus Special Selection."
"The men's room line for Bus #1 started in early March."
"We've already spent more time in Traffic than Steve Winwood."
"Waze says this traffic clears up right after the All-Star break."
"The Yankees are pretty much playing for the right to host the Wild Card game at this point."
"I think someone tried to flush a book down the toilet." "Was it a paperback?"
(In traffic)....."I'm not loving our exit velocity."

Vicente Romo's Inside Pitch
Buenos noches amigos y amigas: It was only April 8th, but the New York Post described the Yankees' extra-inning horror show vs. the Orioles as "The Worst Loss Possible." C'mon, Post - there will be worse losses this season. Then what do you write?... Stat of the Week: the average age of a Rolling Stone is now higher than the average age of a Supreme Courtjustice. "The Supreme Court" not a band from Brooklyn…. Michael Kay spent two different innings the other night reciting names of injured Yankees. Could swear I heard him mention Lou Gehrig …. Stanton became the first player to have two games with no hits and 5 K's during the same season. And he did it twice within the same week. Congratulations…. I already miss the great Vic Damone…. Jerry Remy's restaurant is now Tony O's. I wonder if he's the same guy who used to dress Rickles…. Can't imagine the great Sherm Feller saying three words announced over the Fenway PA on Opening Day - "Wally's funky sister" …. It never warmed up on Opening Day. At one point it was so cold that even the beer prices were frozen…. Johnny Carson still on every night on Antenna TV at 11:30. Hasn't lost a step…. Ruth Pointer of the Pointer Sisters nailed the national anthem at the opener. Sang it as written, not as though she were in a TV screaming contest with famous judges…. Sad to hear about Rusty Staub. His charity distributed millions of dollars to NYC Police and Fire widows and children…. No matter what your politics are, Jim Comey is tall…. Goose Gossage and Ed Randall made for must-see radio a few weeks ago on WFAN. Mostly Gossage…. No magnetic schedules handed out at Fenway on Opening Day. What's the deal?... Mets at Fenway over the weekend of September 14-16. Ringo at the Wang Theatre on September 17. Just sayin'…. More on Rusty - saw him hit a grand slam off Eck for Texas on April 19, 1980. Hit a high, high fly ball just inside the Pesky Pole. Complete game shutout for Gaylord Perry …. Fenway has a special kids' gate, Gate K. Good first step. Second step might be a few day games…. Love the Ohtani kid for the Angels. Asked someone I trust what makes him special. The power? His pitching control? His poise? "No," said this baseball insider. "It's the splitter." .... Someone pointed out that the "Souvenir Hot Chocolate" the Sox were scalping at $8.50 on Opening Day was $1.00 less than what the Mets were charging the previous day at Citi Field…. Nice touch by Papi to be wearing a "Girl Power" shirt under his Sox jersey for the "Play Ball" ceremony with Needham's Aly Raisman …. Wrigley Field just installed removable seats behind third base so that they can offer a regulation-size football field…. ABA reunion just held in Indianapolis. Just an excuse for me to type the name Louie Dampier …. As my old pal George Burns used to say, "Goodnight, Gracie."